Ugh. It's HMF.

The walmart racial statement case

2010-03-20T05:09:00.000-07:00

That's right folks. I'm out of the wood work, and better than before. Trying to change the world one person at a time.

My phoenix like resurrection is concerning this little tidbit :

http://www.nj.com/newsflash/index.ssf?/base/national-112/1269076164166250.xml&storylist=jersey

I think people are clearly missing the point when it comes to the walmart case of someone saying "All black people please leave the store."

People look at this and say "Look! See how much the world hasn't changed, there's no progress, there's no racial unity, we still are a divisive society."

And I say that's nonsense. Understand this, whoever did this, whether he's an employee, a customer, a insurgent racist sent from wherever these people congregate and dispatch their minions to disrupt shopping, he's obviously committed to his craft of causing racial turmoil and expressing racist views... HOWEVER, I contend, 10 years ago, he would have had no problem saying

"Attention walmart customers, would all the f*cking n*gg*rs get out of here"

Yet, he filtered himself to say 'black people' - so lets celebrate this! It's progress.

Shout out to AK

2009-10-06T17:37:00.001-07:00

Hey AK, if you're still out there. Here's a shout out to you.

If there's one chick I miss from the SM days, it's you.

Cognitive Dissonance

2009-09-02T02:06:00.001-07:00

Cognitive Dissonance.

Here is an interesting principle, cognitive dissonance, it's the recognition of two contradictory perceptions, and it usually yields to amending one of the perceptions to become more resonant with the other. The perception that is amended is usually the subordinate of the two.

A very common example, buyer's remorse: Most people have the perception that their purchasing decisions are prudent, wise, and well thought out. Hence, when they spent large amounts of money on something that doesn't yield immediate value, they begin to artificially "bump up" the value of that thing, in order to avoid the dissonance with the stronger perception: I'm a wise purchaser.

Another example is investor strategy and loss. People believe they are wise stock investors, so they put money into a stock, it goes down, and they put more, and repeat the process - all because there's an underlying belief they are good investors, and the stock will eventually turn up. But what ends up happening? either you cut your losses, or go down with the ship.

There is a direct parallel here with women, and their choice of men. While it's clear society privileges women to choose their mates, it implies to most women they are innately better selectors (ie men are superficial, only care about looks, women are more mature, and choose based on personality!) This makes women convince themselves they are great selectors of the men they choose to have in their lives, so much that it becomes a firmly rooted principle.

Therefore, when guys treat them poorly, or is a general prick, they bump up their value, as it resolves the cognitive dissonance with the underlying principle they already have: I'm a smart chooser. Ultimately of course, it's the women that suffer by clinging to the belief they are "good selectors" - and sadly many go down with the ship.

Whats the solution?

It all comes back to equality really. If women actually work to erase the outdated gender model that they are "selectors" and it's the man's job to "chase" them, then *they* will ultimately benefit as they won't be constantly reinforcing to themselves they are "good" at mate selection, and perverting reality in their own minds, in order to avoid the cognitive dissonance.
A societal pressure for men to approach, and be more 'pro-active', has a flip-side:

A society that pressures women to be constant receivers of that information, and by extension, skilled evaluators - which evidence clearly states, they are not. So for their own good, women must actively choose to believe in equality thoroughly and completely, without exceptions and selectivity many normally apply.

*as a side note, if history is any guide, you can never convince ANYONE to undergo a course of action because it's morally correct (ie. pursue a just cause for equality, for equalities sake), rather you have to show how a course of action ( no matter how correct it is, in *principle*), will directly benefit THEM.

And there you go.

A great shirt.

2009-08-31T15:25:00.000-07:00

a great shirt.

nothing more to be really said here.

A confessional - justice

2009-08-15T07:22:00.001-07:00

I felt a little bad doing this, but finally I did it.

At a public library computer some desi girl left her email logged in, and I found she applied for a job. The guy who wrote her back said something like

"every time I come into the bank you have such a great smile, and that gives me a great smile"

so I wrote him back (As her)

"If I get the job, you'll walk away with more than just a big smile. if you know what I mean. hint hint, call or write xoxox"

Then I clicked send. I felt a little bad, then I checked this girl on facebook, and saw her picture. a total hottie, probably reaped off the fat of the land for a good while now - gaining favors, free meals, extra attention, telling good guys to f*ck off just based on their looks - so this small amount of justice was deserved. Heck who knows, maybe she was thinking that all the way, did her deed and now has the job!

Maybe I did her a favor! that would be the ultimate irony.

a wake up call.

2009-08-05T14:58:00.000-07:00

If this isn't a wake up call to push for a society that treats men and women equal.. I don't know what is.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090805/ap_on_re_us/us_health_club_shooting

Now I know what you're thinking.. "This guy is sick! he's a lunatic! he's a ... whatever" and yes, anyone who's willing to take their own life, and that of others, certainly is all of those things... but look what got him there...

a society that positions women in such a point of power, where a guy feels he has to take a gun to match that power.

This should be a wake up call. Now instead of arguing with me, how about we try and figure something out to stop this sorta thing.. hmmm?

By the way, I'm sure what this guy certainly did NOT need, was women telling him 'ugh you're so bitter , you're just angry, you're just this, you're just that!"

for minority success in politics and public spheres...

2009-07-30T18:41:00.000-07:00

A few things have to happen

1. A white person has to fuck up MAJORLY. I mean so majorly, like almost bankrupting the country.
2. Another group of whites have to want to look like they are "true liberals" and believe in "true racial equality" and get
behind that minority.
3. The minority has to have *some* appeal to white america, in some way shape or form. Even Obama falls under this category.

Oh. and the best one.

2009-07-20T15:38:00.000-07:00

First they ignore you… ( no one responds at SM )

then they laugh at you… ( object of mockery at SM )

then they fight you … (banned from SM, deal with punks like 'pot meet kettle')

then you win … (stay tuned - one day, males and females will be treated equal in this society)

Some great quotes.

2009-07-19T19:35:00.000-07:00

"Great spirits have always encountered violent oppostion from mediocre minds."
-Albert Einstein

"He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it."
-Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is the truth. "
-M.K Gandhi.

So. the quest for true equality between men and women is ongoing.

Obama's "staring" at a girls ass.

2009-07-10T16:04:00.000-07:00

So the fuck what?

This article clears him of it:

http://buzz.yahoo.com/buzzlog/92794/?fp=1

Anyway, this just illustrates white privilege in the earnest. Bush or Clinton could've fucking grabbed the girl's ass and it would've just been written off as the frat boy acting up.

Anyway, lets move on to the actual girl. First of all, she probably enjoys having her ass stared at, why else would she even wear a dress like that?

I find it interesting that women enjoy using their sexuality to their advantage but then cry foul when men actually respond to it. You can't meter when and where your sexuality gets used, if you "flaunt" it, don't be surprised when it actually takes effect!

An open call to all detractors

2009-03-06T17:14:00.000-08:00

I am temporarily lifting the comment moderation, in the off chance that anyone is reading this, I'd like to ask all a question.

many people from SepiaMutiny have said that there were multiple calls for me to be banned, well, you all got your wish, they thoroughly dislike me over there, if a klan member wanted to do a post, they'd probably allow that over allowing me back on.

But I invite you to come here and share if you actually did send SM a letter urging my post. They said many people did, I want to hear from you.

Question.

2009-03-02T03:33:00.001-08:00

Is this blog dead?

This is actually pretty good

2009-02-28T19:22:00.001-08:00

Yogi B.

Sad, but true.

2009-02-28T17:03:00.000-08:00

Yet another reason, why beautiful women are quite possibly the dumbest creatures to exist on the planet.

How does one go from this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-pTRf-hw0g

to this?

http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/story/0,28383,25122056-10388,00.html

Thank you, it's just sad but true.

F**K Valentine's Day.

2009-02-13T15:14:00.000-08:00

F#@^K Valentine's Day.

There, thats the title all you people expected. but this post isn't about valentine's day or why I hate it, really. I'm pretty much indifferent to valentine's day, my problem is with any kind of social order that tells me I *have* to do something , on *THAT* particular day, and if I don't I'm a bad mate. To me, Valentine's day has the position of the SATs, as part of a college application. How in the world can you reduce 4 years of high school study, extra curriculars, and other activities to a single test score, taken on a single day of heightened scrutiny, and pressure?

In the same way, how can my entire worth be reduced to my actions on one day, that's been hyper commercialized ad nauseum. I won't even get into the argument that this holiday is rooted in western society, from middle ages, and the concept of "courtly love." A time period which, if the men were to ask women to hold THEIR end of the bargain, they would cry sexism before the.. you know what comes you know where.

St. Valentine had nothing to do with romance, love or anything even remotely close to it.

And never mind how it's just commercialized into bullshit fear, where if you don't get a girl a rose, a card, or take her to dinner, or any other crap like that you're just put into a state of FEAR.

But this post is about events that have transpired in the weeks before valentines day, and a protest avalentineforindia.blogspot.com"

I had read their postings, and posted a suggestion that they change the name, for their own benefit, and ability to connect with the silent majority within the country.

Some ridiculously misguided, anonymous prick, responded with (I'm eliminating some of the post):

--------------------------------
Modern democracy, personal freedom, adult franchise, written constitution, scientific enquiry- all are ideas that came to us, at least in the recent times, from the west.

Our founding fathers, when debating our constitution in the Constituent Assembly were willing to adopt these. There was no cry against these being western. The first 4 words of our constitution, and in my opinion the most magical, the most powerful ones- are a straight lift from the US constitution that was written 250 years before ours.

In the globalized world, we live in a global culture- it is inevitable and in my view desirable that cultural streams would mix and amalgamate. There is no difference between you- the so called moderate who would rather maintain the status quo because change makes him uncomfortable and the extremist fundamentalist who uses violence to force people to his views. In fact it is people of your ilk, the neo conservatives (if you prefer)who provide the seed bed for extremists to develop and provide them with the intellectual and philosophical sustenance.

Step out of your shell- do not only tolerate the difference in the other but celebrate it. You don't have to like what the other
----------------------------------

Now, I answered back, defending myself against this attack, as person should be allowed to do. The post was deleted and I was met with "you can't pee all over our blog" I actually saw myself as cleaning up the pee.

But fine, I stopped expecting unbiased treatment in the blogosphere, so I respectfully asked MANY times for the post (the original post) to be deleted, as I couldn't respond, there was no point in having it up there in the first place. And this request was repeatedly ignored, and I was assured by the blog moderator, the reason for being ignored was the impending protest and the time necessary to spend in preparation. Yes, ok I understand that.

Yet, the requests for deletion were deleted! How much more time does it take to delete the actual post I want eliminated? but they deleted my REQUESTS but nothing else.

Tell me please, how much sense does this make, if they are taking the time to delete my request of deletion... WHY NOT JUST DELETE THE ORIGINAL POST?!?!

It's the height of absurdity, but I guess salivating at the expectation of roses and chocolates could make a person all cooky.

But since I'm not allowed to respond there, I shall respond here:

Modern democracy, personal freedom, adult franchise, written constitution, scientific enquiry- all are ideas that came to us, at least in the recent times, from the west.

American/modern democracy, while it does have some roots in the thoughts of Thomas Paine and other "founding fathers," really had no operational precedent in any part of Europe, which was entirely monarchies. Rather, the first European invaders and squatters, drew upon the Native Americans form of government, most prominently, through the Iroquois League:

http://www.wsu.edu/~dee/CULAMRCA/IRLEAGUE.HTM

It was this entity that eventually became the foundation for the US Constitution.

But even so, lets say for arguments sake that India owes the west, in particular, the United States for its democratic ideals. What does this have to do with importing American/Western views on courtship and courtly love? Absolutely none. All it does, is propagate a continued unequal positioning of men and women, one that both men and women should be fighting to erase, if we all want the equality that we say we do.

"There is no difference between you- the so called moderate who would rather maintain the status quo because change makes him uncomfortable and the extremist fundamentalist who uses violence to force people to his views"

Uhh. No in fact that's the entire reason for calling someone a "moderate" is that they do not resort to violence, but believe their viewpoint is one worth merit. Is everyone that is pro-abortion, want to just fuck repeatedly until they die? Is everyone anti-abortion going to blow up a clinic? It's ironic that you make a point like this and then immediately ask me to :

" Step out of your shell- do not only tolerate the difference in the other but celebrate it. "

No, how about you step out of your shell, and stop thinking everything out of the west is inherently better and more fair. I've already shown you how Valentine's Day is rooted simply INEQUALITY, positioning men and women as inherently different. You can't retain a segment of that thought process, and want to eliminate the rest. It's called being selective, and ultimately it's hypocritical.

But I understand that men have to go along with female hypocrisy if we are to ever get any poontang. So I don't blame you for what you think.

are you f*cking kidding me?

2009-02-03T19:28:00.000-08:00

are yoU FUCKing kidding me?

Nip Tuck, they have an indian character.... and he wants to have his DICK enlarged.. and then have his SON do it?

what the MOTHER FUCK?!?!

Changes

2009-02-01T15:44:00.000-08:00

TUPAC - Changes
Uploaded by G-gang

Alright. There's gonna be some changes around here.

Only blog members can comment. I'm sick of this anonymous shit.

I'm going to be more open minded to try and understand opposing points of view.

And another thing...

2009-01-27T21:35:00.001-08:00

As Valentines Day nears..

99.9% of women I'd say haven't the slightest spiritual bone in their body. That is, they usually are incapable of thinking beyond the physical, and material.

Instead of having their mouths water at roses and heart shaped chocolates, if they thought about the other 364 days of the year, and how they were treated, and didnt let a single rose define the entire year - then maybe they might have a shot at choosing more success driven mates.

The best line ever.

2009-01-24T21:15:00.000-08:00

"Rosa Parks sat so Martin Luther could walk, Martin Luther walked so Barack Obama could run, Barack Obama ran so the children could fly..."

-JayZ

What my point is.

2009-01-23T19:14:00.000-08:00

For those who are interested in what my point is.

Equal treatment for everyone.

See? now was that hard?

I'm rick james bitch.

2009-01-17T16:54:00.001-08:00

apparently, this is the only way to really attract women.

*all due respect to mr. james' soul.

An apt analogy.

2009-01-16T19:32:00.000-08:00

Each year 40,000 new cinema scripts get registered into the writers guild databanks. 80,000 scrips are penned each year according to some reports. Studios usually do not take unsolicited submissions, unless they have been vetted carefully by an agent, even then, they take thousands of scripts, go through a careful screening process, and make maybe 20 of those into actual films.

How many movies that get made absolutely SUCK? Most of them. So after all that rejecting of submissions, all that careful attention to choosing the best projects, most movies SUCK. and are LOSSES.

See the parallel here?

Women reject 1000's of guys, carefully screen based on all kinds of nonsense. Yet, most of them complain about the relationships they are in. Whats the problem here?

Ladies, care to explain?

sliced bread had a pretty good run.

2009-01-11T13:45:00.000-08:00

I have the best idea.

A social networking site dedicated to matching men and women.

However, a requirement, women that do not judge based on money and looks, rather personality. (you know, how like 90% of the women out there say they behave)

www.nonjudgementalwomen.com

basically guys could log on and find women that are actually honest about what they seek.. and all "dates" require no cross-payment. each person pays for themselves.

Analyzing female hypocrisy to its core.

2009-01-10T17:33:00.001-08:00

Let's re-visit female hypocrisy, and have a look at the root of the behavior. Simply put, hypocrisy is, by definition:

a pretense of having a virtuous character, moral or religious beliefs or principles, etc., that one does not really possess.

(http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/hypocrisy)

So in essence, it's the feigned practice and ownership of certain character beliefs and traits, that one does not possess. How is this lack of possession ascertained? Do people walk around with ID cards carrying the information of all the beliefs or principles they adhere to? No, it's through action and behavior, we induct backwards to underlying principles they stem from.

How does this manifest in the majority of women in the world? Well, in a western dating approach, when women believe that men should do the approaching, men should pay for dates, men should act as providers, etc.. but simultaneously profess a belief in equality of the genders and sexes. This amounts to hypocrisy. and here's how it's explained away.

Women, dont actually want equality in all things. they only want equality in certain things that they've been denied and prevented, from having because they are female. ie. voting, jobs, salary, etc...

However, when it comes to things that society entitles them to have, there's no questioning at all. essentially they takes what they can get. But what they don't realize is, the entitlement is historically rooted in the same "preventative" discrimination they stand against - and herein lies the essence of the hypocrisy. So a man paying for a woman exists as tradition because she was thought of incapable of working and making money for herself in a "man's world". So in the entitlement, is the original discriminatory underlying principle, a woman accepting money/payment/etc.. for social interactions is basically saying, "I am incapable of existing on my own, as an independent individual, and am dependent"

So, again it comes down to rejecting discriminatory practices across the board. sexist is sexist, irrespective of the direction.

No. Seriously?

2009-01-04T16:43:00.001-08:00

I just saw a commercial for this product

https://www.strapperfect.com/flare/next

Seriously? Has research into female "beautification" products gone to such a level? Is there anything you can trust about a woman when you meet her? Not her looks, her body, with all kinds of slim down this and tuck in's there, Cosmetic science has made 40 year olds look like 25 year olds. Her words? if they even approach something barely resembling the truth, I'd be shocked out of my wits.

If 10% of this effort was spent on, ohh I dunno curing a terminal disease, or I dunno, bringing equality to all people on earth, you know those trivial ol' little things, maybe this world might be a better place

Racists to America: It's 2009, and we're still going strong

2009-01-02T12:25:00.001-08:00

Racists kick off 2009 the right way

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090102/ap_on_re_us/muslim_passengers_removed

They should sue. What better way to prove their commitment to America, and show the world their true American-ness than by a "frivolous" lawsuit?

On this last day of 2008.

2008-12-31T00:21:00.001-08:00

It's a time of reflectance.

I would say the largest event in my existence is the election of Barack Obama. All things put aside, it's a huge symbolic leap in this country's perception of who's a leader to have a black "face" at the lead of the country. Imagine this picture:

http://www.macalester.edu/~fines/presidents.jpg

Now with Barack's picture tagged at the end. Seriously, wow.

Now we need 43 more, then maybe we can talk about some degree of equality.

People say I talk about race too much, yet it's the single most salient feature that determines who and what we are in a larger societal sense. If people don't realize that, they have their head in the sand.

Barack's election is a huge step in altering that, no doubt.

2008. A year of changes.

2008-12-20T08:59:00.001-08:00

While we're not at the new year yet, this was a year of changes.

Female hypocrisy reared its ugly head in its largest way to me this year. Yet, America showed that it had moved somewhat forward through the election of Barack Obama.

I invite you all to speak of your changes.

Movies.

2008-12-13T14:39:00.000-08:00

One of the best scenes in cinema

And one of the best lines in the best scenes:

"Like all yankee women, all you can do is order in restaurants and spend a man's money"

a FANTASTIC post.

2008-12-09T05:05:00.000-08:00

Click dear friends:

here

One of the best comments I've read until date:

"When women stated they were equals of men and wanted to be treated in such a way, you killed chivalry. Chivalry is a code of conduct that explains how men and women used to act toward one another. It involves women doing certain things for men that they have historically done, but would now be considered oppressive if a man asked a woman for them. Would you do those sorts of things for us? Part of chivalry is the part of the helpless maiden. Is that you? Because in every other area of your life it certainly isnt. Its just another area where you want the best of both worlds, the advantages of equality, but without any of the extra work or responsibilities."

Answer this... dear reader(s)

2008-12-08T20:17:00.000-08:00

Woman says.... "Being a man is so easy, if I could come back, I'd come back as a man" ... and society's knees buckle and we all reflect on how true it is.

Man says.... "Being a woman is so easy" and it's sexist, misogynistic, bitter, angry, etc...

Given this framework, who really has it easier, if the whole world thinks they have it unequivocally harder?

Yet, Another interesting article

2008-12-06T05:19:00.003-08:00

http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/datingtips/87063/fascinating-facts-about-successful-single-men

Finally, someone honest enough to admit what women really want in their men.

Now. don't read this the wrong way

2008-12-01T20:43:00.000-08:00

Ok, I want to talk a little bit about balance.

"http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081202/ap_on_re_us/tv_anchor_attacked"

Let's look at this story.

Now, of course, this is absolutely abhorrent, and HORRIBLE. that a defenseless woman was treated this way.

But I do want to look at this from another angle. look at her face, and looks. at least the people who knew her can say she was able to live a good life based on her looks, and was able to enjoy many things.

How many women have sufferd her fate without having her looks to gain things from?

I dont condone the actions against her, whoever did it should be caught, and strung up from a cactus. But as always. I offer something else to think about.

The dark dirty secret

2008-11-30T18:23:00.000-08:00

Women that get by mostly on their looks, and KNOW that they get by mostly on their looks are usually the most insecure people in the world.

Especially since they know no matter what, that gift is the one that gets steadily taken away. As Johnny Cash says,

Sooner or later, God'll cut you down.

The Mumbai Tragedy

2008-11-30T10:04:00.000-08:00

There's not really much to say about this.

Of course it's ridiculously horrible.

A couple positive "silver linings"

1. White people now know the town's name is "Mumbai"
2. White Americans see good "brown" people on the TV.

Also, watching Fareed Zakaria interview Ratan Tata on CNN is an exceptionally proud moment, letting the people who are most directly affected by this event discuss it, rather than having fat old white men talk about something they know next to nothing about.

The real thanksgiving

2008-11-22T14:02:00.001-08:00

I know its early.

But I always like to use this time to remind people, of the true meaning of thanksgiving, and the true history behind it. Not the whitewashed version we see on TV and in elementary schools on a yearly basis.

http://www.alternet.org/story/4391/

Didn't mean to call you a dumb bitch.

2008-11-17T20:54:00.000-08:00

but I took what you said to be very insulting.

To the dumb idiots that think Obama's victory is an end to racism

2008-11-15T21:54:00.001-08:00

Read

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081116/ap_on_re_us/obama_racial

Let's put everything aside

2008-11-15T08:24:00.000-08:00

Close your eyes.

Imagine a desi girl, her arms wrapped around some white guy.

Now imagine these two laughing at how socially inept desi guys are, how they're chicken, how they're coddled, how they cant approach.

Now imagine the girl asking the guy to do an impression of how "an indian guy approaches" and then laugh at this mockery.

Now ask yourself. is this not the behavior of a girl so smitten with self-hatred? someone who hates her background and culture so much she has to run to what she's been pummelled with as "superior" ?

You know. in the old days, white men raped and pillaged and instituted programs to force minority men into thinking less of themselves and forced minority women into hating themselves and likewise, the men of their culture.

Now it seems desi women are just all the more likely to follow that path willingly.

Rule 8. If this is your first time on this blog. you have to post.

2008-11-15T06:42:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite movies is Fight Club.

Watching it again, it got me to thinking about male aggressive behavior, a topic that I've debated
for a small amount on SM. But now I think it's time to extend the debate here.

Of course, let's add a bit of context to the discussion. It's an often quoted joke that women would
be "fat, happy, and hairy" without men. That is to say, their desire to lose weight, and remove their hair, and generally
"beautify" themselves stems from a socialized, learned behavior, to attract, appeal to and please men.

Let's just keep that in mind. Back to male aggression.

Now, let's think back to the playground, I'm talking ages 5-12 years old, How do certain guys get attention
of the women? by doing math problems? in India maybe, but not in western society. In fact, I lost a
student council election on that very platform. But thats another point.

When I did martial arts, a girl was very transparent about why she was dating a certain guy

"I'm glad Lou is my boyfriend, he doesn't lose. [his martial arts tournaments]"

"What if Mike beat him next week."

"Mike won't beat him."

But early on, we as boys, learn that girls like the boys that can physically dominate their opponents, and do so. Basically those that show the aggression early on. So couldn't we conclude that the aggressive behavior is a socialized, learned characteristic, that's reinforced by positive feedback from women? Of course we can, because that is most definitely the case. Which is why when a woman laughs or mocks a man publicly, it provokes an aggressive impulse - an impulse that has been wedged into his brain as the "go to" method to earn female approval - be aggressive (maybe even violent) and defeat opponents.

It's internalized from an early age, and progresses its way to later on in life, where physical dominance isn't as important, but dominance and "owning others" still is. So the lawyer who out argues, the chef who out cooks, the crack dealer who out-deals all win women in their respective spheres.

Yet women are given the privilege of having their behavior explained away as socialized, trying to please men, etc... where as we are usually slapped with "boys will be boys" or "boys are naturally aggressive" which if it's true, and it's such a bad thing...

why do women engage in relationships with a naturally corrosive and inherently aggressive group of individuals?

Of course, the dirty little secret is, women *WANT* boys to be boys, because it provides them a simple mechanism to target when attracting them.

An amazing post

2008-11-13T04:28:00.001-08:00

An excerpt from a great post:

"It is strange, too, because women are by no means the second sex. As Camille Paglia conclusively demonstrates, women are without question the dominant sex in our society. No one who has ever seen the desperate attention-seeking of teenage boys or intricately-shaped lavender soap in the private bathroom of a rich and powerful CEO can doubt it. It is usually not much more than a decade, somewhere in the years from 15 to 30, that a man is not under the strong influence of a woman.

There is a saying, that a woman is, and a man must become. Perhaps it is this need on the part of males to become, this sense of a battle fought and won, that separates the sexes more than any other.

Or perhaps it is that women simply do not understand that male respect is never given freely, it must always be earned. And the only way it is earned is by taking complete responsibility for one's words, one's actions and one's decisions."

Full post available here:
http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=37018

A quick recap

2008-11-07T21:38:00.000-08:00

This blog, over the past few weeks has seen some increased traffic, a surprise to me, no doubt. I don't know whether it's some
collective joke against me, or a serious inquiry and engagement on the issues I have brought up over my time on SM and
subsequently here, since my removal from there.

It appears that a few unanswered questions and uncontestable points have been uncovered, let's run them down. By the way, I appreciate the effort made by the people who have attempted to combat me on these issues. However, it's clear they have yet again proved to be unsuccessful.

-Women are granted a right to be emotional and those emotions are treated as more valuable and protectable.

Reasons: Men showing emotion are often regarded as being weak, as a man who does show emotion is told
by society to "be a man" with the implication being, don't let these emotions get to you. Men have a higher demand
on them to be in control of their emotions.

-Women can minimize emotional risk in relationships, by taking refuge in adopting a "I only want to be approached" strategy and hence keep their emotional connection to relationships and sex.

Reasons: Because we live in a society that grants women the privilege to sit back and wait for approaches and "select" , they do not have to endure difficulties that men have to endure. In order for a man to succeed he has to harden his skin to multiple rejections, women on the other hand do not. A woman can meter the amount of emotional investment she makes by simply rejecting or not rejecting the man. Society privileges her absolutely, in this regard. All the difficulty lies with the male, because the male must basically hoodwink the woman into believing he is emotionally connected, all the while maintaining a strict policy of emotional distance- otherwise he risks another rejection tarnishing his self worth - and further corrupting his chances for future relationships

For example, lets say a woman approaches, and gets rejected. She feels bad and adopts a policy of "I will only be approached and chased."

Now, lets say a man appraoches and gets rejected, he too feels bad, but cannot adopt the same policy, as society deems it "unmanly" and "against the nature of manhood" so he has to go back and get repeatedly rejected again and again. And moreover, has to hear about how hard women have it in life being treated as unequals, yet this glaring inequality is so often glossed over.

And to the b*tches that say "If she's not interested, then just shake it off and move on" How about taking some of your own advice? but no, you don't take that advice, you just fall back onto the privilege you take for granted when dispensing this advice.

Now I understand that a woman can undergo the pain of investing emotions and having them not returned, and can also feel "burned." But it's a different animal when society questions your very existence and very place on earth for not approaching, and taking all the steps to escalation. In a sense, we are always risking ourselves, women have the chance to assess interest then make the decision. Men do not have that luxury.

If women truly want to be equal partners in a relationship, they should be willing to shoulder half the load.

HELLS MOTHA FUCKIN YEA BITCH

2008-11-04T20:50:00.000-08:00

That's all I gotta say.

a non uncle tom person of color got elected to the highest position in US government.

I think it'll take at least a week for the truth to actually set in and become believable.

Manju. if you're reading. I might start that investment bank.

A moment of clarity.

2008-10-30T20:44:00.001-07:00

I figured it out.

And I've been correct all along. Men and women are human beings, and both people want the same thing. Validation and attention. Both people want to know... they are important to someone.

And for a coupling to work. Both people need to have someone to be stupid with. Someone to be completely illogical with.

And both people need to have a feeling of over compensating for the other, just at different times.

So if a girls sucking a guys dick, she needs to feel like she's doing it selflessly. to please him. and he needs to pick up on that selflessness.

if a guy's spending $200 on dinner, for a girl, he needs to feel like he's doing it for no reward, and she needs to pick up on that feeling.

I believe thats the secret to a successful pairing. Now of course, there are still larger issues of desi women, from a certain generation who've been whitewashed to hate their own kind, and basically think all desi men are like their fathers (who they no doubt have negative opinions of) that need to be addressed, indian women definitely need an education in confronting pro-white biases that YES, WE ALL HAVE.

However here's the difference, because I want this to be clear to people

Indian men, yes have a pro white bias.. that ENDS IN BEAUTY. so I may think Jessica Alba or Pamela Anderson is hotter, but it ends there, I dont think shes a better woman, more capable of being a nurturing woman, and a a better human being

yet how many times have desi women been hoodwinked with flowers and romance and all that bullshit.? hmm? all in favor of reinforcing an opinion that white men are betteR MEN., not just better looking.

And so here is the difference.

My message to the hypocrites:

2008-10-29T16:03:00.000-07:00

Here's my message to the women that regularly practice hypocrisy:

What makes a female emotion more protectable, guardable, or valuable to its owner than a male one?

2008-10-28T18:17:00.001-07:00

Answer that question. Because insisting that men always approach or put themselves on the line, is basically believing that female emotions are more valuable to their owner than male ones.

Keeping with the discussion.

2008-10-28T15:42:00.000-07:00

Keeping with the discussion of inequality.

Here's my theory. Men and women are human beings. And we all need attention and validation. No matter how much "self confidence" or "self-awareness"
all of us need to be validated and made felt relevant by someone else.

If this point is agreed. then why do so many women feel they deserve more attention and validation, in particular in the beginning of a relationship?

Is this not a dereliction of a core belief of equality, now if a woman doesnt believe in equality and is willing to do her part, then there's no hypocrisy at all.

But having as a core belief of male-female equality (which by my understanding, is the underlying tenet of the entire feminist movement) how can one maintain that such unequal behavior must take place?
it's just a bum deal for guys (and yes I know by stating that I alienate any women who are reading this, but truth is truth)

For the women actually reading this, I've looked through the "rules" book. you must be aware of that bullsh*t. How can women subscribe to such nonsense like "you should be able to come 15 minutes late and the guy shouldnt complain" I mean seriously?

What if some guy wrote a book that said, "you should be able to grab her ass 3 times without her getting mad at you" Wouldnt that be labelled sexist, this-ist and that-ist?

Yet no, a book published by a mainstream US publisher can advocate such sexist behavior out of women, behavior that encourages women to devalue a man's time (and god knows what else)

Being a nice guy

2008-10-26T21:13:00.001-07:00

Can someone explain why nice guys are repeatedly shafted, when women regularly say they want someone respectful?

I had a debate with a woman, and she stated that female privilege wouldn't exist if men were smart (and didnt do stupid shit to try and impress them)

Couldn't I say, on the flip side, that male privilege wouldnt exist if women didn't repeatedly turn towards men that treated them poorly?

Think about it.

Dagnabbit. Banned again

2008-10-16T20:03:00.001-07:00

"You are not allowed to post comments"

is the message I got again. After changing my pseudonym to "hero many faces", it looks like I got the official banning treatment once again. Now this is getting silly. It appears there are some in SM that tolerate my presence, and some in SM that completely want me blown off the face of the earth. (I wont go so far to say that there's anyone there that 'likes' me there)

I won't even bother asking for an explanation this time.

I hate reality TV.

2008-10-11T21:37:00.000-07:00

I hate reality television.

But I saw recently, what's possibly the best segment of reality television I've seen my entire life.

It was an episode of beauty and the geek. and the task for the girls was to go into a club wearing "normal" or "bad" clothing, no makeup, and ACTIVELY approach men and get their numbers.

Now some of these pampered b*tches were shocked to learn that men carried phones and those phones were assigned a 10 digit number. But I digress.

Finally, these dumb bimbos got a taste of what normal guys like myself and a host of others have to experience on a daily basis. having to actually put their egos on the line, not just sit back and wait for someone else to roll up on them. This is what our realities are like, the struggles we have to endure.

And it brought them (rightfully) to tears, when they realized they could be rejected. and a single rejection cut into their little weak minded psychii's over and over, while guys like us have to experience that 100+ times per week.

It's sort of like the great masterpiece written by John Howard Griffin, "Black like me" where he took psorlen, to make his skin darker (as he didnt believe the absolute 2nd class citizen ship that these "uppity" negroes were claiming) So he finally underwent the hardships that black folks were going through on a daily basis. And then commented, "I can stop being black any time" likewise these women can stop being "unattractive" any time, and immediate take refuge in their cosmetics, fashion and low cut tops.

So in this episode, I truly have no sympathy for these women, coasting through this part of life with so much ease. finally they got their comeuppance in a small way. Of course it could never be equal to them living an entire life that way, they could never comprehend that, however, now they know at a small level what it feels like, hopefully that lesson sticks with them.

Speaking about gender...

2008-10-11T19:10:00.000-07:00

So women like to tout the fact that they are more likely to be abused in relationships. And while this is true, and horrible, and should be corrected. Let's not forget that men are 4 times are more likely to be murdered, according to the DOJ statistics:

http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/homicide/gender.htm

Yet this rarely gets any media or blog coverage. To the point where female behavior is excused (ie running away, infidelity, etc..) is somehow engineered to be rooted in their higher likelihood to be abused.

When does male behavior ever get excused in this way? How many times do men get a free pass to their behavior because of their hightened risk to be victims of murder, and indeed all violent crime of any kind? Couple that with the intense pressure to take soul-less, meaningless jobs for the purpose of earning money? Yet this doesn't fit into the narrative, because we live in a world where women are perpetual victims, passive recipients of the evil male exploiting them and controlling them.

How about some true equality?

The San Fernando Valley Tragedy

2008-10-07T16:30:00.000-07:00

I'd like to comment with respect to this post:

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-porterranch7-2008oct07,0,7425239.story

Now. there's no doubt that this is horrible and tragic. For these kids especially, not even allowed a chance to move forward
in life and fight for what they see is justice and truth.

I wonder how much pressure was on him to make money, pressure so high, that when it was taken from him, he saw his only option to end his life and those that depended on him.

Alea iacta est.

2008-10-03T18:58:00.000-07:00

Since it's clear my presence at SM is to be eliminated permanently, and any attempt of mine to rejoin the discussion will be deemed as "trollish" behavior, I've decided to post a little epilogue here.

This is not meant to be a complete list, nor is it meant to be a "bash" list (or Korn shell list either, oh I kill me.), rather an account, mostly by memory, of some of the more striking interactions and people with whom I've interacted, both past and present.

There is a caveat however, these summaries are purely my opinion, and drawn from memory, if I had more time I'd be able to ferret out the actual SM discussions I've referred to in the following descriptions.

ANNA
I'd say the biggest issue with ANNA is having to recognize her AS an issue. I had no issues with her, in fact no opinions at all. If anything, I'd say my opinion of her is mostly positive. However, I liken ANNA's presence on SM, to the Jewish communities presence in America. Now, before you start going all "poo poo anti-Semite! (1) " hear me out, then chose either to process the context, or ignore it and dismiss me as an anti-Semite(1).

When someone joins SM, (assuming they come in with a "clean slate") invariably you will see ANNA write a post where she's defending herself and taking some kind of statement very personally. When questioned, others will come to her defense, with statements like, "she's been attacked before, just for being a woman, etc.." After many iterations of this, a new person is eventually forced to take an opinion, even if they do not want to. In a way, she's a perpetual victim. The same way some (not all) Jews call upon the Holocaust (2) to reclaim their victimhood, you basically force anyone who's emigrated to the United States well after Jews in America have rebounded to keep thinking about them. (by the way, before you start flogging the anti-semitic flag at me again, this is the exact same logic used to tell blacks to 'shutup' when they bring up issues such as slavery, reparations, etc..) Yet white people can use it all the time, and not be "racist" yet when spoken towards the Jewish community, amounts to discriminatory, horrible, horrendous, illegitamite thinking.

Anyway, the upshot here is, I do think Anna is a tremendous addition to SM, and a diligent, smart, blogger. But you're forced to have an opinion about HER. even if you don't want to. I can't tell you how many times, I myself have been accused of "disrespecting her" when my response was, "I dont have the time to point you out specifically and disrespect you! don't flatter yourself!"

I dont know how instrumental she was in my banning, but I do believe she has been very fair, and respecte the right to free expression of opinion, and namely "keeping it real."

Oh. and one thread some time back, she posted a picture of a girl in jeans (with her head cropped off), and asked guys to comment whether she was "hot" or something like that. My guess is it was her (either from before hand or now).

Dilettante

Not sure which component of my posts she took towards, but apparently had a "crush" on me or something of that nature. I'm assuming she's reading this, maybe she can comment on what specifically she took towards?

Razib
I think he called me a bot once, and after that really not much interaction ensued thereafter. He's definitely a little darling over at SM, and that's just an artifact of human nature. Objectivity and lack of bias can never truly be achieved.

I had no real issue with him, but found most of his posts cumbersome and circumambulous, they circled around and around, and relied on concepts that your average person wouldn't know. For example, conditional probability and complex statistical analysis (I having done some probability in a different arena, could pick up on those, but not having studied say, genetics to that depth, would not be able to pick up on a central thesis) In a general interest board, every post need not be a masters thesis. or require one to determine the central point and argument.

MD
One of the largest misrepresenters of my posts, but has toned down of late. In my view, someone who believes we should all just pretend to be white, forget who we are, where we came from, and live happily ever after. I'd imagine if there was a painless way to have our skin bleached, she'd be first in line. Sorry, but that just doesn't fly with me. Otherwise, most of the time I believe her arguments amounted to "yeah but the left-wing does the same thing" or something to that effect. So, in many cases would completely ignore the point being made, and just assume everything's a "wash."

Nala
I believe our discussions mostly surrounded male-female relationships, and social dynamics. Our largest differing point has to do with certain privileges afforded to the female in the formation of male-female relationships.

Camille & AK
I'll group these two together because they are two of the more sensible women on SM (in addition to ANNA, although I've never really discussed any of the issues with her). One's who've actually taken the time to dissect my argument and provide at least a somewhat reasonable, well constructed response. They've been unable to address the fundamental points I've brought up, but
at least they didn't lash out like others have done. Ak, in particular, for her call to other women, that indeed if they are to be treated as equals, they should act as equals. (I'm not sure if Camille has said this before explicitly, but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt)

Muralimannered

This was one of the people that attacked, yet shrieked in horror, and cried foul when attacked back. The only discussion that comes to mind is regarding a commonly done practice at elementary schools regarding Thanksgiving, where kids dress up as "pilgrims" and "indians" (guess which one I [and most probably, the majority of readers of SM] always was?) I believe he countered with some kind of point that when he grew up they dressed up in pink leotards or some sh*t. To which I answered, "yes but the majority is..." and his response was something to the effect of, "yeah well you didnt mean it when you said majority, you meant all"

DQ
She once complemented me on my sense of humor. Of couse, this was until she became a target of that very same sense of humor, then I conveniently turned from "cracking her up" to being "bitter." Now, her calling me bitter is somewhat like Sarah Palin calling someone "simple minded" but the speed of her knee-jerk "woman is always right and always a victim" response to everything would put an epilepsy patient to shame. Any male-female dispute was always rooted in the woman being abused or victimized, or something of that nature. Even if the woman set off a thermo nuclear bomb that blew up planet earth, some guy abusing her was the root cause.

I believe one time she likened a man paying for a woman on various preliminary social interactions, to a man 'leading' in ballroom dance, or some ridiculous statement like that. (I assume this was done to trivialize the act of paying from a male's point of view) I dont know where she lives, but I can't pay rent, buy food, pay ma bell and the power company with pictures of me waltzing and doing the tango, however, these service and product providers generally do accept money.

She's the person who would most definitely benefit from the statement, "if women want to start being treated as equals, they better start acting as equals."

Nayagan

He's pretty new to the "I hate HMF" front, but his biggest problem is the constant inability to actually address the point, which many of my other detractors have done. Rather he provides a stream of poorly constructed insults, and requests if "I'm going to whine about that desi girl that left me for a white guy" or something to that effect. Gee. never heard that one before.

My answer is what it's always been... no... because I've known many desi women that have gotten proverbially 'slapped in the face' because they chose to underestimate the innate racialism and negative assumptions dormant in even the most "liberal" of white people out there. And i'm just not the "I told you so" type of guy. But I did... tell them so.

Manju
Not much to say here. Never really discussed anything with this guy. (3)

The end. there may be more to come in the future.

End notes:
(1) Anti-Semite (used to mean attitudes against the Jewish religion and people) in and of itself is a pro-Jewish word, as Semitic people include Arabs, among others, so technically speaking, an anti-semite is someone against this entire group of people, not just the most powerful subset, but this is a digression.
(2) Again, a pro-Jewish term, the word holocaust etymologically breaks down into "complete burning", and is used to describe a large scale extermination of a group of people, the largest example (on American soil anyway) being the Native American extermination and genocide. Yet in America, the proper-noun-ified version of the word refers to a genocide (which was horrible no doubt) that occured on an entirely different continent, of a lower amount (accounts have the Native American extermination at 10 million or so)
(3) Funny thing, the word Manju means sweet.

I wish they'd make up their mind.

2008-10-01T05:34:00.001-07:00

I've been re-banned. This time with no explanation given.

Bitterness?

2008-09-13T16:09:00.000-07:00

What's it mean to be bitter?

Was MLK bitter? Was Gandhi Bitter? No, I don't liken myself to either of these great men, because I'm not brave enough. (who, in our current society are 'hero-ified' as their negative traits are downplayed in the history books) but I ask, if they saw injustices in front of their eyes, and that motivated them to act.. couldn't they be considered bitter?

Isn't it bitterness to say the way things work do not reflect genuine equality? and then act on it?

But, to change societies thinking by such long strides, you need to be willing to sacrifice a lot. A whole lot.

We return like Jesus. where the whole world need us.

2008-09-13T15:55:00.000-07:00

The Phoenix has risen from the ashes.

So the folks at SM have decided to let me back on. For what reason I don't know. I still intend on stating my opinion like the rest of the users of that site, I'll even not respond to the repetitive snide jabs coming from these unknown assailants. The SM people have remained true to their commitment to free speech, and in doing so, have kept it real.

And for that I thank them. But the truisms of what I've stated time and time again on that site, and this one, still stand. No one has been able to even come close to disproving my central claim, namely those describing female hypocrisy in dating (as defined in US/western dating paradigms)

So. Get ready for round 2. It seems SM is ready.

Boobies into hibernation.

2008-09-12T04:43:00.000-07:00

Boobies into hibernation.
Summer is almost over. and what this means in most cities of the world, is that boobies will go into hibernation. It's no mystery that women will expose these assets of theirs in socially acceptable ways in order to gain various privileges and favors, not to mention, use them to attract men (and then yet still complain all men care about is looks.)

But it's now time for another one of my infamous theories.

Enter the winter boyfriend vs the summer boyfriend. Seasons have been known to effect people's states of mind, I think women become more "boyfriend prone" during the winter, and the guys they choose during the winter have "Beta" characteristics. That is, comforting, nurturing, supportive types. Summer is time for casting caution to the wind, going wild, crazy, trying strange things, and dating the guy your parents would hate the most. So women do either one of two things,

1. Don't date anyone, and just f*ck a lot of guys.
2. Date someone that transmits alpha characteristics : unpredictability, instant likability (good looking), generally uncaring about
others (including the very woman that's dating him for inexplicable reasons)

Again, to reiterate, summer is almost over, which means the boobies are about to go into hibernation, and good guys that actually treat women with respect might have a chance.

Signing off, HMF.

The saga continues.

2008-08-19T13:47:00.000-07:00

So I posted a message on SM after my banning, which they kept but switched the handle around to shroud its true source:

link

I responded to the SM staffer personally, but I wanted to put it up here for those few lost souls who continue to meander to this corner from time to time.

*note this is not a verbatim response, it's a paraphrase, with some more added.

HMF.

Thats my name. dont wear it out.

Let's leave aside the fact that I haven't even had the opportunity to respond to your email...

this wasn't made known to me until now.

Let's leave aside the fact that you circumvented being banned, which was a total middle-finger at all of us and what we are trying to do (we didn't ban you impulsively, or without discussing it)...

if you mean by posting from a different machine, you wouldn't even have known had I not used my true handle. Secondly, the banning was impulsive, as the "explanation" given came later. And what exactly are you trying to do? stifle opinions that deviate from your own?

And finally, let's leave aside the vitriol-laced tirade of comments on your personal blog about us, regarding how we like to give Razib rim-jobs, where Manju patiently, repeatedly articulated our (and many of our readers') concerns better than even we could...

My blog is my space. I know some of you like to think you're all powerful, but the line must be drawn when you start to govern what other people say on their blogs. Also, if comments where I state my great respect for the work you and your crew have done constitutes "vitriol" I shudder to think what constitutes praise.

I'm sorry if my opinions of Razibs post makes you quiver. i find them cumbersome and preachy.

...your second comment after the helpful, on-topic one about Selvam was obnoxious. A massive "fuck you" to all of us. "Guess I'm back and better than before" or some such sentiment.

thats a misunderstanding then, it was my acknowledging that you had chosen to make the ban less than permanent.

THAT is why I deleted it. If you notice, the comment where you didn't congratulate yourself for breaking rules, the comment which wasn't rude or hostile or combative is still up.

After you turned me into a soft-core porn magazine.

And please don't print this email. Not cool,

Well, I believe banning someone unjustly is equally uncool. besides who even reads my blog anyway?

but you have no respect for us (and especially me), so I don't have high hopes.

well, again, I must say your respect for my point of view has deteriorated of late as well

I have always defended our decision to allow you to stay when others have been banned for far less. I have always tried to be fair.

The only problem is, I do actually provide engaging commentary and discussion, if I was a common troll, as you would like to believe, I would have been banned much earlier.

As for topics I repeatedly bring up, I think they are important. I'm sorry you don't. but these are two I've studied and pondered for years.

So, with certain topics in hand, I will say I am energetic about my opinions, but again, I've never directly attacked someone until provoked. Then the gloves come off. Isn't that fair in your book?

I am not posting on SM regularly or writing you back immediately for a reason: my health.

I hope you feel better.

Instead of giving me the courtesy of hearing me out and working with me, you switched IPs like a common troll and came back anyway (and then left a bad comment after a good one).

The good comment is effectively deleted, as it's not ascribed to me. Im not sure what "hearing you out" and "working with you" means, but I still maintain I did nothing other than state my own opinions (and if people deem it off topic they can choose not to respond)

Resignedly,

XXXXX :(

Response given

2008-08-06T19:59:00.000-07:00

So, The folks at SM have provided me with a response, here it is:

sorry that you feel you were banned without cause. You know that I have always tried to be fair to you.

It was not one comment but rather the progressive trend of increasing hostility and lack of consideration for others that we have seen in your comments. Put simply, your confrontational nature and tendency to hijack posts turns people off and discourages them from commenting on our site. We reserve the right to maintain an atmosphere that is inclusive where people can feel comfortable exchanging ideas. I hope you find another forum where you can engage in the types of discussions you seem to be seeking.

Best,
XXXXX

Now, lets just have a look at the last thread which apparently was "the straw that broke the camels back" in this situation.

link here

My first post, said I had no interesting stories, and I stated an opinion that inter-religious weddings where each side is deep into their religions would probably not work out, that if anything would require one side to not so connected to the ritualistic side of their religion.

I had a few energetic posts.. but no vitriol directed against any one person.

The first time I directed any insults at ANY ONE PERSON was here

but lo and behold, it was in direct response to this statement.

Namely, this excerpt: "i can't believe what a penny pinching scrooge that hmf fellow is. i feel sorry for his partner and children."

Not only is this person a gold-digger, they have the gall to insult my family.

Now, in my response, I called this person for the gold-digging b*tch she is, basically assessing a man's value by his wallet, which is the clear implication in her statement.

I invite any of you readers to go back to ANY thread, and locate a direct attack I've made that wasn't provoked in this way. You'd be hard pressed to find any examples.

And yet the usually fair folks at SM, have now renegged on their own claim to create an environment with a willfull exchange of ideas.

Apparently they are happy only when you agree to spending money on big weddings.

Banned from SM. With no response.

2008-08-05T15:37:00.000-07:00

Banned from SM.

Well, it finally happened. Those at SM, who I've immensely respected for the last year or so for their commitment to people
voicing their opinions and defending themselves when attacked, have blocked me with no information as to why.

I have requested information from various SM parties as to the rationale for the banning, and have received no such response, again very unbecoming behavior for people I generally hold in high regard. Even the ones whose only response to me is unhinged vitriol, without provocation.

My last thread was an inter-religious wedding topic, where I stated my opinion that if either partner heavily practices their religion then a marital union would be quite difficult. And the case where one party doesn't practice their religion overtly (of course saying nothing about their beliefs in underlying principles) would facilitate an inter-religious marriage to much more substantially.

Now, another discussion ensued where I stated an opinion I have that large expenditures on wedding festivities is a complete
waste of money, even for those who have it. A flurry of messages came in response of the sort, "well certain expectations must be met"

to which I responded, in essence, screw the expectations and opinions of others, and do what you feel is right.

Ak, again, one of the more sane commenters on SM, attempted to "catch me in my own words" by implying that if the disregard of others opinions should be accepted broadly, then my own opinion on large spending for weddings should be equally disregarded by the spenders.

However, I explained that if doing so, trangresses the very "law" that she's invoked, it's a logically unsound argument.

To which she responded, she didn't imply they should disregard my opinion out of following my advice to categorically reject all persons expectations, rather they can selectively reject my expectation (to spend thriflly on a wedding) but engage in large spending to meet others expectations (ie prove to the patels and shahs across the street they're rich)

To which I responded, "no duh, thats a backtrack" because you're essentially saying everyone has the right to do what they want, which is fine, there's no reason to bring up my statement of "disregard expecations" if you're not implying their following of my "rule", however it was clear in her statement , she was attempting to "use my words against" me, and I spent a great deal of time pointing this out, as I felt it was important.

Now if the SM moderators felt it was too far off-topic (which I agree it was), and not constructive in any way, a simple closing of the thread would have sufficed. So if any of the SM brigade can offer a reason why I was banned, without violating any of their rules (or at least point out in what way I did violate their rules) it would be much appreciated.

My first sexual experience.

2008-08-03T06:20:00.001-07:00

Are you f'n kidding me?... do you expect me to actually blog about this?

The shapeless assailant

2008-07-26T09:07:00.000-07:00

Now, let's bring it back.

This blog grew out of my voice on SM, the trouble (or humor) it caused, and in general most people's inability to actually confront and engage the point I was making.

At most, there were recharacterizations of the argument, or outlandish comparisons that were made.

And I'm no stranger to posts of the sort : "I've lurked and followed your posts for some time...." which to me is a completely idiotic way to start a dialogue, because it's usually a need to decry me as "self pitying' or "misogynistic" that brings these folks out of the woodwork.

Lately a new front has begun, an attacker that doesn't even have the courage to keep the same name:

http://www.sepiamutiny.com/sepia/archives/005304.html#comment210068

here's an example. So I invite you. show yourself, or at least make a halfway decent attempt to disprove anything I've said?

Feminist Response to PUA stuff

2008-07-22T21:25:00.000-07:00

The feminist response to Neil Strauss's "The Game," is captured as an excerpt from this article:

"http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/books/news/passing-on-foolproof-pickup-tips-is-this-grooming-for-adults-504589.html"

"Feminists are aghast at the book, pointing out that it fails to describe how to maintain relationships and likening the techniques used to those employed by paedophiles to groom their victims. There is also concern that women are "programmed" to be attracted to certain characteristics in men which predatory males can identify and exploit."

Now let's just step back for a moment. maintaining of relationships is useless information if a guy is completely clueless as to how to get into one. An attractive woman gets many offers, she's developed a system of screening candidates out, PUA knowledge is sort of like the Princeton Review, it's a shortcut to understanding that system.
Let's take another step back. The feminist complains that the PUA philosophy presupposes some kind of generic characteristic set list that women use to screen out candidates, (and by definition a generic list that women use to let certain candidates in)

And furthermore, addresses this as a problem. Yet, females have been identifying and exploiting the male attraction mechanism for as long as history as existed.

Women are the biggest PUAs ever. They just don't call themselves that.

Fashion, lip stick, eye shadow, mascara, nail polish , high heels, push up bras, hell even corsets, skin care treatments, botox, are all designed to create an illusion... a woman is more sexually fit than she *actually* is.
Ladies and gents, women have been exploiting the male attraction mechanism for centuries. Not only that, they are skilled in verbal manipulation and misdirection as well. In fact that's their entire MO!

The pedophile comparison is ludicrous, pedophiles victimize their targets, PUAs never lie, or force anything upon the women, they just use certain internal techniques to be the best they can be.

Now, as far as woman wishing to be treated like human beings. I believe in the 10-80-10 rule. That is, 10% of women out there, are not feminists, nor do they claim to be, they want their men tall, handsome, and rich (and usually white, especially if the race of the woman is Asian, Indian, etc..) They believe it's the man's job to care for, and provide for the woman. PUA techniques don't work on them, because they want a stable provider, and they're willing to take a back seat.
The other 10% are true non-hypocrites, they believe in equality, they believe it's neither the mans "job" nor the woman's "job" to care for the other. They recognize a relationship as 50-50, an agreement, they don't get razzled when Valentine's Day doesn't yield them a a rose. PUA techniques might work on them, but aren't necessary, a man (that believes in 50-50 model for relationships) can be honest about that and not look any less "manly" because in this woman's mind , no definition of "manly" exists. we're all just human looking for the same things, trying to find happiness.

The meat of the bell curve, the 80%, are your hypocrites, those that clamor for equality in certain areas (jobs, housing, etc...) yet completely reject it when it comes to relationships. They wait for men to approach, they wait for men to escalate the relationship, put pressure on men to do all the "work" as it were, yet still harangue about lack of equality. PUA techniques are perfect for this bunch, because demonstrations of high value, social proof, qualification is exactly what this woman is looking for. (as she's unable to envision a truly 50-50 equality based relationship) And the PUA stuff provides just that, a systematic way to deal with this hypocrisy.

Is anyone else reading?

2008-07-05T21:33:00.001-07:00

If Manju's the only one reading, that's some sad muthafuckin shit.

So if you're reading speak up.

A great line

2008-07-05T20:47:00.000-07:00

"Never try and argue with a woman, because we as men are handicapped. We have that need to make sense"

-Chris Rock.

More movie lines.

2008-05-31T16:09:00.001-07:00

Line from Under Siege

Jordan Tate - "I'm the girl, why do I have to carry all the stuff?"

Ryback - "I support women's lib, don't you"

Jordan Tate - "When it works in my favor"

Yeah, but this attitude doesn't exist in real life right, anyone who points it out is just a misogynist, right?

How do you write women so well?

2008-05-31T10:37:00.001-07:00

I think of a man. and take away reason, and accountability.

Male Female dynamics revisited.

2008-05-30T15:46:00.001-07:00

Aright, it's happened again, another SM thread got closed too early.

This one is on the often discussed phenom of interracial relationships, and yes once again, it's the desi woman attempting to defend their actions,

when really a defense is not required. Rather just an honest look and admission

Now, the person with whom this exchange was carried out with, Ak, is actually a very honest and forthright person, she's willing to actually challenge most gender norms and has hinted at real belief in equality between the genders, this already puts her in the top 1%. So just wanted to make that clear, but her last contribution in this exchange had really exposed her lack of understanding on certain basic issues. Let's go over them:

link

my statement:

"It's not towards them, it's toward their inability to realize how they've been socially manipulated and disneyfied, and more so than that, how most of them get burned in the long run (many data points to prove this). but in the end, maybe they deserve it."

her response:

please. maybe if there is a racist attitude involved, they 'deserve' it. but when many guys say this, it is sour grapes - at their core, many of these men who comment about such inter-racial couples are not upset over the racist element, if any - they are upset because they feel they are directly affected by it b/c they lost out on yet another potential desi girl. i don't see (as many) desi men lamenting when black or latina women date outside their respective races. "

Of course, here is where she tries to compartmentalize things in an impractical way. Of course there will be an element of racialized thinking. the entire white race is *defined* by racialized thinking. The white race wouldn't exist as a group, if not for superiority and racial heirarchies. Her point of the guys major complaint being "losing out a potential desi girl" is not supported, by her OWN STATEMENTS!

her statement: "have many a desi guy friend who have felt desi women being 'stolen' from them by white guys, but no such sentiment when the women they desired (or didn't desire, as the case may be) were dating somebody else who happened to be desi.."

link here

you can't have it both ways. first you say desi men only get pissed off when whiteboys take our 'sisters', then you go on to say desi guys are only pissed because they lose a potential option. So which is it? are us desi guys pissed that we are getting once again shafted for not being white? or are we just pissed we can't fuck a potential "one of our own"

Now, I wont discount your point entirely, there is an element of a 'lost shot' but the reason it irks us when you go white instead of to another desi guy, is precisely because you must acknowledge the nature of what it means to BE white, ie, a notion of superiority to other races.

her statement continued:

"so, what is this - revenge via marriage? just because you have some grudge against white people and history doesn't mean that everybody else has to. and have we learned nothing that we should continue such practises in our generation and time? it's a very slippery slope to continue attributing to individuals the actions and crimes of their race and ancestors. if i want to marry a white guy, i really don't give a toss what anybody else thinks - don't try to second-guess the thinking - consciously or sub-consciously - of everybody that doesn't conform to your approved practises. "

Ah, now here's some real errant thinking. the ol' "grudge against white people" argument. Of course, anyone who points out historical fact, all of a sudden has a 'grudge'. Secondly, by pointing out that history and suggesting action or at least acknowledgement of that history, we are "continuing such practices in our generation and time"? Was MLK "continuing such practices" when he demanded rights for black people, and demanded SPECIAL TREATMENT to help the 'shackled runner'? To neglect a power hierarchy and its translation into the sphere of relationships is, to put it plain, naive. Seriously this is like 2nd grade stuff here.

As for you marrying a white guy, go right ahead, and don't give a toss what anyone thinks, just don't delude yourself into thinking you arrived at that choice in a complete vacuum - and were able to 'think beyond race'

"and of propensities towards white people - this may be so, but i don't know what says that we shouldn't have a propensity towards white people, or "

nothing, yearn for that white, circumsized dick as much as you want, just acknowledge the reasons why such a propensity would exist, and realize that it's not some coincidence pieced together independent of the racial history and the images of who and what we define as attractive. it's the same reason I shriek when I hear desi guys say, " I just dont find black girls attractive" and don't have the guts to understand why such a preference would come to fruition in the first place.

"that we should have a propensity towards desi people. each person is a result of their circumstances, be they geographical, socio-economic, ethnic, religious, academic or otherwise. and these may very well make them have more in common with somebody who is of a differet race or ethnicity, but nonetheless they have - not just think they have - more in common with such people, whether or not other desis think that is 'right.'""

Sorry, but I dont care if you're a desi living in the biggest podunk redneck town in the world, if you think you have "more in common" with someone outside of your race, that's simply ridiculous on a large scale level. No white person has ever been mistaken carte blanche for a terrorist. No white person has been denied anything for that matter, or been made to feel like a complete outsider simply because their skin is the wrong tone.

Say you don't like your culture, or your history, or you think all Indian guys have small dicks, or whatever, but quit trying to sugar coat what's going on behind the curtain here.

Especially for us as 1st generation immigrants. for most of us, our parents are all from India, (or south asia), we are at a unique point in time where our experiences easily translate. Its the reason why a blog such as SM gets so much readership in the first place! Is this really so difficult to process?

I'm going to give it a try.

2008-03-08T11:45:00.000-08:00

Don't ask me why.
My goals might be high
A new blog, it might fly,
Just wait for more to go awry.

The new blog:

link here

Constitute This.

2008-02-21T15:23:00.000-08:00

From a discussion that ensued on SM:

"i going to bow out of this debate with you b/c either you're completely ignorant about const law and you're just trying to fake it, or you're not ignorant and just weird. i mean, "congress" does not apply to the states, the first ammedment says nothing about free expression on govt property? this is just basic stuff which i'd be happy to elaborate on but you don't seem to really want to learn, as your weird exchange with rob demonstrates. "

Constitute this.
Alright. So let me be upfront, I have no formalized law credentials, most of my legal insight has come from watching movies and self-study, and discussion with law professionals.

Part of my "keep it real" persona is to state what I do not know.

I asked for an example of a state government enacted-law being overturned or challenged within a state court system because they infringed on freedom of speech as defined in the Constitution. What I got in return was a Supreme Court document, which by my understanding, is a federal court.

On this I may be "dead wrong" however, it wasn't clearly explained in the example presented.

But even if the state takes the place of "Congress" as stated in the 1st amendment, barring someone from saying "Merry Christmas" or making any references to religion in a gov't/public workplace is not infringing on free speech or curtailing "free expression" because it's speech that if allowed could lead to preferential treatment and understanding of one religion over the other. US history is replete with examples where 'harmful' speech has been disallowed.

It all depends on context. if a person says "Merry Christmas" to a co-worker he knows is Christian, in passing through the hallway, it's probably not a big deal, in the sense of, it doesn't constitute "establishment of a religion."

If one of the groups has a meeting, let's say, and the boss says to his team, "Have a Merry Christmas everyone!" while he didn't mean anything negative by it, it could distance those people who do not celebrate Christmas, and, at its root, is a religious holiday. Anecdotally, I remember while growing up, wanting a tree, presents, etc... Why? Not because of some deep seated desire to celebrate the religious holiday of Christmas, or to be Christian, rather just to "fit in" We should be living in a society where no one feels they have to partake in someone else religion in order to feel comfortable. It's the bedrock principle of a gov't not establishing one religion as superior to the other.

This is similar to the case of an RA in a state school running Bible classes from the dorm. The RA is in a position of authority, and generally a point of contact for incoming freshman to a new school. Given the nature of what a religion is, and its purpose and usage in society, someone in a position of authority, using state resources to show preference to one religion over another is ultimately not what the constitutional architects wanted.

Now while separation of church and state is not explicitly stated in the Constitution, it is a statement made by Thomas Jefferson, one of the constitution's architects in reference to the 1st amendment clause barring Congress from establishing a religion.

So, as I see it, clamping down on behaviors which could be interpreted as preference for one religion over another in a gov't work place is completely in line with the 1st amendment's call for "no establishment of religion." Separation of church and state is something they obviously believed in, and intended on being upheld.

Secondly, calling it "a war on Christmas" is just plain stupid, and also clear evidence of a Christian-centric mindset. For, if it is indeed a "War" on anything, it's a war on all religions, not just Christmas.

And using free speech to defend it, is again a huge stretch, as the free speech clause at its root exists to make sure minority voices in a debate or exchange of ideas, are not suppressed. From a practical point of view, Christmas will not be "forgotten" or "mistreated" because gov't employees are unable to say it while in the workplace.

By the way...

2008-02-12T04:36:00.000-08:00

The last two posts are directly related. (post 9 and 10)

O, Bama, why are thou?

2008-02-07T16:26:00.001-08:00

I feel it absolutely necessary to comment on the Obama factor.

A lot of what I'm hearing in the media is of the variety, "This is already a historic election, because the two democratic front runners are a woman and a person of color." Now, there's no reason to further delve into the the United State's record on racism and it's intrinsic nature to the very foundation of this nation.

There's no reason to once again quote MLK's statement (this one rarely makes the elementary school textbooks):

"Our nation was born in genocide when it embraced the doctrine that the original American, the Indian, was an inferior race. Even before there were large numbers of Negroes on our shores, the scar of racial hatred had already disfigured colonial society..... We are perhaps the only nation which tried as a matter of national policy to wipe out its indigenous population."

Link

But I'll do it anyway.

But the nay sayers will ask, how do you explain Hillary? How do you explain Obama?

Here's what I say. George Bush has just f)(#$)@(#cked up that bad. He's screwed up SO bad, that it's fueled the popularity of both these candidates. No matter how hard the republicans try, any person they put up will be seen as a Bush surrogate. Even the hated by right-wing McCain will at some level be seen as a Bush surrogate. Hell, even a "Clinton Surrogate" aka Hillary, is losing ground to the "vote for change" campaign.

Speaking of Hillary, she's obviously trading on her last name. So in some sense, she cannot be part of any signal that America's perception of it's national leaders are changing. In fact, on SM, it's been guessed that many elderly Desi democrats will vote her way as they remembered the "good times" of Bill's presidency. So obviously, she's being carried quite a bit by it. Does this mean she's not a candidate or person of merit, worthy of a presidential campaign? No, but you cannot make the argument that she's just some Jo Blo (Josephine Blo?) woman proving that electoral politics are changing. She's not just "a really smart woman" with a vision and a this or a that.

Obama, on the other hand, gained his popularity by his distance from the current administration (both in physical appearance and in verbal description) Obama is riding the "hope" and "change" wave so cleanly now, because now is when it will be strongest. Mark my words, if Obama doesn't secure the nomination this year, popularity for him will most likely decline for future election years (2012, 2016, what have you) Why? Because it's Bush's gigantic screwup of a presidency that has fueled all this Obama energy in the first place. Eight, or even four years from now, the anti bush energy that fuels Obama, will have all but completely dissipated.

However, I will say this. In the event that Obama secures the nomination and the presidency. I, HMF, will say the US collective consciousness has made some strides in changing its old ways of thinking.

Half Breeds will take over the world

2008-01-01T05:14:00.000-08:00

My prediction for 2008. Half Breeds will take over the world. 'Half Breeds' will always have the 'I'm so confused, I'm stuck between two cultures' thing going for them, but (especially for women) their 'exotic' look will be the new kryptonite to white racist hollywood producers in particular.

Here's the logic. They're confusing. People look them and think, "oh is she A or B? I don't know what to think?" Uhh. she's not white, but she's not asian either. So the standard stereotypes won't immediately kick in, but the thought process of "oh ho hum, just another boring fake plastic britney spears white chick" thinking doesn't kick in either.

In confusion, the brain will lose all its logical capacity, and simply emotion will kick in, emotion being, the evolutionary brain sensors (symmetry, youth, etc..)

Watch out for these cats, they're primed to take over the world.

Race Issues != Gender Issues

2007-11-20T19:54:00.000-08:00

Ladies and Gents, I've been wanting to post an opinion on this for a long time.

This is due to a slew of comments of the form "You're a person of color, so you understand white privilege and race issues well, but being a male you do not understand how you benefit from male privilege"

So lets start at the beginning. The gender issue and race issue are not completely synonymous, they have certain overlaps I agree, but to simply graft over points that I make on the race debate and say, "see it's just the same as gender" is lazy and incorrect.

Here are the differences:

Race is completely, unequivocally concocted and socially defined. Numerous efforts were there to "scientifically" prove that certain races were genetically inferior to other races, all of this evidence however is racially motivated, to keeping (what was at that time) the status quo of white superiority.

Any study during that time cannot be extricated from the social temperament extant. Secondly, in the US in particular, race has a very specific history. Blacks were herded like animals on ships for the sole purpose of forced labor. They weren't allowed to learn, read, write, or advance intellectually in anyway. This reality is entirely, 100% socially concocted. Whites and blacks have no reason to be together or interact other than societally motivated causes (ie. we brought you here on ships)

Men did not go to Oprah-land to bring women to serve as their laborers, to bolster the "male" economy. Men and women also have that little thing called "evolutionary impulse" that keeps us together. This trait, if it was really detrimental would not pass on from generation to generation, rather it would die out because it doesn't serve survivability & replication of the human race. In fact, exactly the opposite: men and women interacting is what DEFINES survivability of the human race.

Now, one might imagine a reality that men and women don't actually interact, rather live in separate societies and only engage in replication via in-vitro fertalization. If male privilege were really as absolute as females would like to think, why haven't we seen a push in this direction? Because our evolutionaray impulses exist as they did 1000's of years ago, where technology & economics couldn't support a separate male and female society. I believe these impulses are keeping us together.

The female separatist movement does exist, but I'm a bit unclear as to their end goal. are they suggesting a society of just women? or are they just lesbos that don't want to be around men?

Now, is there male privilege? Yes. of course there is, but there's female privilege as well. I could go through the laundry list of cases and categories, but I'll save that for another time. The biggest example of female privilege is in dating/relationship situations - seemingly trivial, but upon further inspection, a cornerstone for the very relationships that sustain our society.

If one supports the removal of male privilege, then one should support the removal of female privilege as well.

Indian Independent Cinema - checklist

2007-11-12T04:36:00.000-08:00

I've caught a lot of Indian Independent Cinema of late, as almost everything else, there's a formula behind it all. Even chaos, rebellion and movement against the status quo has a formula behind it.

For an Indian indep (really, a non-Bollywood) film to be successful or even exist, it usually has one or
more of the following components:

1. One character must have a relationship with a non-Indian. Usually it's an Indian female hooking
up with a white male.

2. One character will invariably be gay.

3. One character must whack off (no matter how irrelevent to the story line it is)

(Icing on the top is jabs and criticism on the caste system, but this isn't always included)

Let's do a quick rundown.

Fire - points 2 & 3
Bend it like Bekham - points 1 & 2
Bride and Prejudice - points 1
Dharm - points 1 & caste system
Bavandar - points 3
East is East - points 1
Loins of Punjab - points 1

I'm open for any more additions to the mix.

Keeping it Real

2007-10-15T12:48:00.000-07:00

I keep it real

I used to say that a lot in high school. Maybe to some who read my posts, I might as well still be in high school. That's fine, not everyone has to like, agree or even tolerate what I have to say.

But understand this, I do keep it uncategorically real. And what I mean by this is, I do say things rooted in what I believe to be true and logically sound, and I do respect the opinions of others when I truly find merit in them.

I was recently called out for ad hominem attacks rather than engaging the points and arguments. Truth be told, I only do that to those who have first engaged me in such a way.

I won't go into the background, because frankly, anyone who's reading this would already know it. but here are some excerpts from a rant against me on SepiaMutiny:

.............
if a guy actually makes some statements against your usual misogynist frothing, it is because he wants to get in women's pants, and women of course are incapable of contributing effectively to the discussion since you and you alone have had the unique vantage to explore both male and female behaviors

Instead of jumping on the bandwagon and dismissing what I say as misogynist, how about actually engaging the point? Because nearly 100% of the time, the evidence to call me "misogynist" is out of an exaggerated or misrepresented interpretation of what I truly said. Instead of actually engaging my points, you do exactly what you accuse me of doing.

Believe it or not, there *are* women who have enough sense to look past the easy "misogynist" conclusion and have actually answered my points and engaged in a dialogue.

and are specially qualified to posit laughable theories that sound like they have been extracted from reading the equivalents of self-help books written by pick-up artists like mystery and the game.

Hah. If you're going to soapbox against someone at least get it right. The *book* is called 'The Game' the author is Neil Strauss. You may find the theories and observations laughable, but I would say you may perhaps live in a privileged reality, where perhaps you don't experience the things the average male might, in a standard male/female interaction.

and if none of these work, adopt the age-old strategy of ad hominem against the commenter. it seems an easy way to just dismiss arguments that don't agree with your contorted world views without actually engaging with the points in them.

As I said before, I never or rarely make any statement against someone without them striking first blood. I challenge you to find an instance.

i am sure your analysis of human interactions that constantly focuses on the follies of whites and women has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that you are a male person of color

Yes, and MLK focusing on the follies of whites because he was a person of color too. That's what we as human beings do, we record into our memories much more deeply the events of us as victims rather than not. Does this mean men and people of color are not culpable of anything, in any way? No of course not, it would be silly to state that, which is why I didn't state it.

you seem to confuse being wrong, obnoxious and unpopular with actually being correct and courageous.

I don't care if I'm classified as wrong, obnoxious or any other words, as all of the above or none. Nor do i care about how 'unpopular' I am. As I said before, I'm not constantly wondering if people will classify me as a moderate democrat with conservative tendencies or a blue peacock. I say what I see, hear, read, observe and pontificate on. Feel free to say I'm wrong or obnoxious. but, I keep it real.

"you are either with me or against me",

Dont know where this is coming from (other than your head) There have been many times where i've conceded various points made by others.

but seem to be left without a response when actually shown an instance where you spewed your hate filled spitballs with absolutely no reason. as usual,

I already showed you where you made an unprovoked jab at me. Here's the link again, in case you forgot:

http://www.sepiamutiny.com/sepia/archives/004756.html#comment169251

But I don't care that people make snide jabs at me, hell I dish it out, I can take it, I dont care. Here's where you lack a certain consistency, you say here:

http://www.sepiamutiny.com/sepia/archives/004774.html#comment171352

that you dont want me to "pull my punches" yet in the super-rant you ascribe it as "hate filled spitballs" for no reason. so make up your mind, I personally thought it was a jab equivalent to the one you levied at me. I didn't say I wished for your sister to come down with a case of ovarian cancer, nor would I ever.

if anything you come off as very whiny by making little jabs at others, then calling them 'hate filled spitballs' when it's done right back to you. That's hypocrisy.

sm intern, you might want to consider why hmf's quoting misogynist lyrics with a sham apology was considered acceptable, but a esponse with similar lyrics was not.

For the record, I had no problem with Tara's lyrics, I thought it was a funny response, as well as indicative of her "alpha/beta male dichotomy" - which she didn't denounce right away, so I can only assume there's truth to it

University of Texas

2007-09-25T19:41:00.000-07:00

This is school has seen some rise in membership lately. In fact, I used to be enrolled deep in their program, one could say I was even head of the class at one point. Then I realized their program really didn't offer the benefits that seemed so attractive from the outside.

Sometimes it's hard to see why some people stay enrolled, but in some ways its actually easy. Everyone of course has the right to enroll in any academic program they qualify for. But with this school in particular, it's just sometimes oh so confusing why?

Who the (#$@)(#$ is reading this?

2007-09-18T19:53:00.001-07:00

There's no post here.

No raving on the hypocrisy of women in the dating scene.

No cleaning the clocks of right wing rush limbaugh worshippers that read some wiki articles on Malcolm and Martin and think they know what they're talking about.

None of that.

Just a simple quetsion.. who the Fu- is reading this?

Fem-aggerations.

2007-08-24T22:26:00.000-07:00

I'm still on the tight assumption that no one's reading this sh*t I write, so I'll be brief.

For the small minority of people out there that maybe are reading, and even smaller subfraction of those that actually care, I hereby nickname you Casper (yes it's corny and lame, but its nearly 1 am so give me a friggin break).

Casper, a discussion on a SepiaMutiny thread erupted here that somehow meandered into the realm of "married women's dressing habits in social environments." The entire discussion is available here, however I will snip the relevant points without naming names (as the purpose of this post is to describe the phenomenon and not single any one person out)

[my comments in blue, 3rd party in magenta]

The background is pretty simple, a woman commented that she doesn't go to bars and clubs anymore, to which I asked a general question about why married or [seriously/long term] dating women still engage in the same activity as they did pre-LTR (wearing makeup, wearing designer/"club" clothes) when logically speaking, those activities were done primarily to attract men (or women, if that's your thing):

Which actually brings up sort of another point. why do married or dating women still wear all the makeup and designer clothes and go out?

A discussion went back and forth about how being 'off the market' doesn't preclude one from desiring to be attractive, but importantly the woman offered an anecodote about how repeated approaches from men in clubs are making her less and less interested in going to these types of places.

Again, looking at it from a practical point of view, I suggested in a half joke/half serious way (the preceeding comment was about spending too much time on the toilet):

"...you're just a serious hottie that screams 'come talk to me' in her mannerism/body language in the alone time window when your fiance leaves your side..."

And now Casper, the response I got from this particular person with respect to these points was perfectly sound, however, it's the response from a 3rd party that I endearingly call a

'FEM-aggeration'

And by no means is this an indictment specifically on the particular responder, rather I use it as an example of something I've observed in many, but not all women.

Here it is in part by part, with my response, and reasoning why I categorize this as I have:

Part 1:
"It sounds like you have a really specific idea of how married/taken women are supposed to behave. My decision to have a lifelong partner in crime didn't come with riders on how I'm supposed to dress!"

I never made any claim on what married/taken women are supposed to do. Only asked a question based on logical flow.

Part 2:
Yeah, and let me list some of the behaviors I've seen men read as "screaming 'come talk to me/grab my @ss/make obscene gestures at me'": Talking to a friend Reading in a coffee shop Walking down the street

Notice the effortless conflation of "come talk to me" with "grab my ass" as if the two undeniably go hand in hand. This is the heart of fem-aggeration. It's the assertion that any statement on female complicitness is blaming the 'victim.'

Casper, if you think I'm being disingenuous with my quoting, go back to the original thread and tell me where I ever made mention at physical touching or obscene gestures.

Part 3:
The whopper:

Because being alone in a bar (even if it's just because your husband is running late or in the bathroom) is like wearing a neon sign that says 'I NEED SEX', right? Yeesh.

This is the fem-aggeration gold medal. I don't even know where to begin on this. how did:

"or you're just a serious hottie that screams 'come talk to me' in her mannerism/body language"

equate to:

"...is like wearing a neon sign that says 'I NEED SEX'" ??

Again, the person to whom the original comment was directed responded accordingly, however it's the third party that in this case, practiced blantant fem-aggeration.

If any serious discussion is to proceed on these matters, the fairer sex has to try their darndest to not misrepresent statements of female contributions to the process in this way. In particular, augmenting the 'authorized' (eg speaking = grabbing) is something that's done all to seamlessly and all too often.

A distincion has to be made between a genuine, pre-relationship approach, and a run-of-the-mill crass comment, or drive by honking, etc...

There are many guys out there (for example, me) that do not approach at all if :

1. there's even a slight indication she's taken (wedding ring, dancing with guy on shoulder, etc..)
2. the female doesn't at least show some slight interest or 'receptiveness' to a potential approach.

With many men who think this way, it's not an outrageous thought to consider that the women who are being approached are actively doing something to encourage it (by dress, mannerism, body language, etc..)

Oh ya, that's me being brief, good night casper.

The fast walk-stomp

2007-08-21T20:19:00.000-07:00

More notable than some other views I've held, it seems my views regarding 50% of the population garners the most attention. And no, I'm not talking about 50% who install their toilet paper so it rolls counter clockwise (vs clockwise), I'm talking about the 50% that are women.
While people watching in a certain place in NYC, an acquantance made an observation as a very fertile young woman walked acrossthe street:

"Look it's the fast walk-stomp, with a little ass shake",

first I thought he was mentioning some type of criminal con codename, a la Ocean's 11/12/13/14/15/however high they go, but no he was serious. He followed up the thought with, "she must be amazing in the sack"

But he made sure to differentiate the fast walk-stomp from just simply "walking fast" in walking fast, the person actually accelerates in the direction movement, you actually move faster to get from point A to point B. With the fast walk-stomp, some energy is actually directed downwards into the ground (hence the stomp) This effect is accentuated if the woman is walking indoors, with high heels, the sound will echo.

His theory was, these women just have excess energy running around, and it just needs to get dissipated somewhere. The ass shake is just a little flair that's added to the fast walk-stomp.

But is there a correlation? How much can you glean from a person's gait, also are women aware of this fast walk-stomp? I've certainly noticed the fast walk-stomp (as opposed to just walking fast) much more after this discussion and explanation from my acquaintance, however have yet to verify the other part of his claim.

I'm not a blogger, nor do I want to be

2007-08-20T14:05:00.000-07:00

I have no intention of blogging.

Let me just make that clear. However, I've found myself having my opinions mangled and tangled, as well as making various slipson a bunch of blogs. In addition, I've had more than once people say to me, "I've followed your posts..." and usuallyfollow that up with some type of criticism or negative attack.

I'm a pretty private person, maybe a bit more so private than the average person, so even though it's just text, this is a bit strange for me. My prediction is no one will read this, or give two sh*ts, and that's fine, but it's more for me to clear the airabout a some certain points.

I was involved in a discussion recently that included the Nation of Islam (NOI) and found myself defending them and in particular their current spiritual head, the Min. Louis Farrakhan. This was a discussion that I had no intention of engaging in, as I hadn't brought up either topic.

If one looks at the core message of the NOI during its inception, it has nothing to do with the current characteristics and "dead weight" lets say that it's bogged down with.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20AWmX0SN-w

Now, I understand posting a youtube clip will not sell my case completely, after all, it's black and white, the sound is a little off, the color temperature is not perfect. the onVP6 Flash Codec may come off as creepy, the intraframe compression might generate too many artifacts, people might want a high fidelity bit rate, or perhaps MPEG4 part10 compression scheme.

Viewers might not be able to handle it. Malcolm's voice might just be so daunting that, no matter what he's actually saying, people may hear "go kill every white person you see"

Still, I stare these potential obstacles in the eye, and hope that it's clear why I don't think it's cool to outright dismiss the organization as a hate group. Because the NOI wasn't formed for the purpose of intimidation, or extermination of any one group. That was never (and really still isn't) a component of its plan of action.

My apology if this is poorly construted, as I said before,

I have no intention of blogging.