Fem-aggerations.

I'm still on the tight assumption that no one's reading this sh*t I write, so I'll be brief.

For the small minority of people out there that maybe are reading, and even smaller subfraction of those that actually care, I hereby nickname you Casper (yes it's corny and lame, but its nearly 1 am so give me a friggin break).

Casper, a discussion on a SepiaMutiny thread erupted here that somehow meandered into the realm of "married women's dressing habits in social environments." The entire discussion is available here, however I will snip the relevant points without naming names (as the purpose of this post is to describe the phenomenon and not single any one person out)

[my comments in blue, 3rd party in magenta]

The background is pretty simple, a woman commented that she doesn't go to bars and clubs anymore, to which I asked a general question about why married or [seriously/long term] dating women still engage in the same activity as they did pre-LTR (wearing makeup, wearing designer/"club" clothes) when logically speaking, those activities were done primarily to attract men (or women, if that's your thing):

Which actually brings up sort of another point. why do married or dating women still wear all the makeup and designer clothes and go out?

A discussion went back and forth about how being 'off the market' doesn't preclude one from desiring to be attractive, but importantly the woman offered an anecodote about how repeated approaches from men in clubs are making her less and less interested in going to these types of places.

Again, looking at it from a practical point of view, I suggested in a half joke/half serious way (the preceeding comment was about spending too much time on the toilet):

"...you're just a serious hottie that screams 'come talk to me' in her mannerism/body language in the alone time window when your fiance leaves your side..."

And now Casper, the response I got from this particular person with respect to these points was perfectly sound, however, it's the response from a 3rd party that I endearingly call a

'FEM-aggeration'

And by no means is this an indictment specifically on the particular responder, rather I use it as an example of something I've observed in many, but not all women.

Here it is in part by part, with my response, and reasoning why I categorize this as I have:

Part 1:
"It sounds like you have a really specific idea of how married/taken women are supposed to behave. My decision to have a lifelong partner in crime didn't come with riders on how I'm supposed to dress!"

I never made any claim on what married/taken women are supposed to do. Only asked a question based on logical flow.

Part 2:
Yeah, and let me list some of the behaviors I've seen men read as "screaming 'come talk to me/grab my @ss/make obscene gestures at me'": Talking to a friend Reading in a coffee shop Walking down the street

Notice the effortless conflation of "come talk to me" with "grab my ass" as if the two undeniably go hand in hand. This is the heart of fem-aggeration. It's the assertion that any statement on female complicitness is blaming the 'victim.'

Casper, if you think I'm being disingenuous with my quoting, go back to the original thread and tell me where I ever made mention at physical touching or obscene gestures.

Part 3:
The whopper:

Because being alone in a bar (even if it's just because your husband is running late or in the bathroom) is like wearing a neon sign that says 'I NEED SEX', right? Yeesh.

This is the fem-aggeration gold medal. I don't even know where to begin on this. how did:

"or you're just a serious hottie that screams 'come talk to me' in her mannerism/body language"

equate to:

"...is like wearing a neon sign that says 'I NEED SEX'" ??

Again, the person to whom the original comment was directed responded accordingly, however it's the third party that in this case, practiced blantant fem-aggeration.

If any serious discussion is to proceed on these matters, the fairer sex has to try their darndest to not misrepresent statements of female contributions to the process in this way. In particular, augmenting the 'authorized' (eg speaking = grabbing) is something that's done all to seamlessly and all too often.

A distincion has to be made between a genuine, pre-relationship approach, and a run-of-the-mill crass comment, or drive by honking, etc...

There are many guys out there (for example, me) that do not approach at all if :

1. there's even a slight indication she's taken (wedding ring, dancing with guy on shoulder, etc..)
2. the female doesn't at least show some slight interest or 'receptiveness' to a potential approach.

With many men who think this way, it's not an outrageous thought to consider that the women who are being approached are actively doing something to encourage it (by dress, mannerism, body language, etc..)

Oh ya, that's me being brief, good night casper.