So women like to tout the fact that they are more likely to be abused in relationships. And while this is true, and horrible, and should be corrected. Let's not forget that men are 4 times are more likely to be murdered, according to the DOJ statistics:
http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/homicide/gender.htm
Yet this rarely gets any media or blog coverage. To the point where female behavior is excused (ie running away, infidelity, etc..) is somehow engineered to be rooted in their higher likelihood to be abused.
When does male behavior ever get excused in this way? How many times do men get a free pass to their behavior because of their hightened risk to be victims of murder, and indeed all violent crime of any kind? Couple that with the intense pressure to take soul-less, meaningless jobs for the purpose of earning money? Yet this doesn't fit into the narrative, because we live in a world where women are perpetual victims, passive recipients of the evil male exploiting them and controlling them.
How about some true equality?
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19 comments:
You've never heard, "men will be men", or, "boys will be boys"?
The male species has gotten away with alot, just for being male.
You seem to be hung up on "equality" alot. Has someone treated you as less than an equal?
The war between the sexes is fought in the Equality Arena but when two people love each other, or are even just really good friends, they don't keep all those tabs.
As much as I hate to admit it, I'm in a dependent relationship. The only reason I hate to admit it is because other people think that everything has to be fifty/fifty and judge us for not being that way. My partner knows that when my financial situation improves I will contribute more. Til then he is happy to help me out and he's not requiring me to do more dishes or cook more just because I'm not paying bills. This obsession with everything being "equal" or fifty/fifty is overrated. Life just doesn't work that way. Sometimes you will do more, sometimes I will, but who's keeping tabs when love is there?
"You've never heard, "men will be men", or, "boys will be boys"?"
Honestly, the only time I've ever heard that, is that it SHOUDLN'T be used as rationale to wash away male behavior, in the case of rape, leering, catcalling, etc..
And I've heard many people say the similar thing about women, as in, "that's just the way women are" in fact I had a discussion with a male friend who basically said, "no matter how modern a women claims to be, she still wants a guy to take care of her" and when I said, "isnt it a bit hypocritical to be modern from 9-5 but when the clock strikes 5, turn into the dark ages, and he said, "yea but thats just the way women are" Girls will be girls is just as accepted by the mainstream, just not as high profile because the heinous crime of rape is always touted as a counterpoint.
"The only reason I hate to admit it is because other people think that everything has to be fifty/fifty and judge us for not being that way. "
I have no problem with you being a dependent, and living off the fat of the land. women before you have done it, women after you will continue to do it. But at least you admit it. I personally believe you should do more domestic duties, because if you accept traditional gender roles, you have to accept them across the board. Its the hallmark of being a non hypocrite, and its what I stand for.
"Sometimes you will do more, sometimes I will, but who's keeping tabs when love is there?"
right, but over time it averages out? Im talking about women that expect inequal treatement IN THE FORMATION of the relationship. a woman that clamors for equality in certain spheres, but expects in equal behavior WELL BEFORE LOVE enters the picture.
"You seem to be hung up on "equality" alot. Has someone treated you as less than an equal?"
Yes, when a woman expects me to contact her more, spend more money on her than she does me, call her more, etc.. that to me, is being treated as not an equal.
If a woman is willing to spend as much time, effort, and energy in a relationship as I do I would consider that equal.
I'm not "living off the fat of the land". In the past when I had money and he was in a fix, I gave it to him generously. Currently my financial situation is not good and therefore he is taking up the slack. He knows I'm not taking advantage of him. But if you were to meet us in our current state you would probably, like other people, assume that I'm taking advantage of him without knowing our previous history.
Guy Ritchie walked away with $60 million from ex-wife Madonna. How's that for "equality"?
"I'm not "living off the fat of the land". In the past when I had money and he was in a fix, I gave it to him generously"
Either way, your case doesn't apply, you're already in a relationship, but if I ask you lets say he was in a fix when you didnt know him, and he asked you out and said "Im really in a financial fix, can you get it" would you do that generously? if you say sure, you're just a bullshitter. sorry but thats the truth.
So Im talking about in the FORMATION of relationships, there's no equality at all.
Im saying before any "love" can form, thers a grossly unequal system that favors the female. And you cannot dispute that, all you can do is call me a misogynist and say I'm not "a man"
As for the Guy Ritchie bullshit. please, do we really want to get into a debate as to which hollywood celebs have been screwed over more by their divorced spouses? Either way, mr guy ritchie is the exception that proves the rule.
Actually, that's when I helped him out financially the most, in the formation. I paid for 90% of our dates and gave him money for his needs. It happens.
Hang on. are you saying your first date, he told you, "hey, I dont have a lot of money right now, how about you pay"
did you ask him out on that first date?
or you didnt denigrate him for splitting the check on those?
Assuming you're being truthful..yes, I guess it does happen. but its rarer than Manju making sense. (Even you have to admit that it's rare)
All I can say is, this guy seems to be fairly lucky, I think he should walk down the 405 highway in los angeles, given his luck, he wont get hit at all.
Assuming you are as non-hypocritical as you seem, you should look into having your blood stored and DNA mapped for cloning purposes.
There's lots of girls out there like me. You got to know where to look and it's usually not the bars.
And yes, I did ask him out on the first date AND paid for it, knowing fully well his situation beforehand. But hey, I LIKED the guy and my intuition about him proved to be true. He is a gem. Poor, but a gem. We don't have alot but we are happy. Dates don't have to be expensive. Discounted Tuesday matinees are always there or you can just stroll the beach sharing an ice cream. Less is more.
"There's lots of girls out there like me"
ok, where do the non-hypocrites congregate?
"Less is more."
You're preaching to the choir. Go forth and educate your female brethren.
Take heart, HMF, you're ship may just be getting ready to sail. Here's some desi women who are willing to go the distance and pay the price for that first date -
http://www.thestar.com/DesiLife/article/521200
So let me pose another question.
I also don't believe in spending large amounts of money on rings, or wedding festivities.
In your world is THAT also a regularity?
You've dodged the central question. Do you admit that your case is RARE. IN fact an endangered species. Furthermore, you dismiss all other women by saying, "they're in bars" You're telling me you have never been to a bar?
haha. that page you linked didn't even load up.
It's symbolic I think, that a page used to prove that woman are open to paying the bill, and hence believing in equality has server issues. Ha! vindicated as usual.
The link just came up for me. Copy and paste it.
Most of my coupled friends just live together until they are common law anyway, so no, rings and big festivities are not overwhelmingly popular in my crowd. Am I rare? Are we rare? Maybe in some parts of the country I guess. Mind you, most of my friends are not desis, so HMF, look outside of the desi gene pool. Have I been in a bar? A few times as a teenager.
"Am I rare? Are we rare? Maybe in some parts of the country I guess."
Some parts as in, North, south, east and west. Either you've lived in a complete thorough bubble, or you're just ignoring the facts.
What in the heck is common law.
Common Law means when a man and a women live together long enough they are considered "common law spouses" so that they are treated as almost legally married by the state. Being desi you wouldn't know about that. LOL.
I'm telling you to expand yourself outside of the desi jean pool. The rest don't care that much about weddings, obviously.
well, are you desi? are most of your partners white? these might be assumptions of mine but I'm willing to bet they are true.
most women *want* to get married, whether they do or not, is up for discussion.
I'm desi and so is my partner. Neither of us are "wet dreams" for our possible future sets of in-laws. I think you know what constitutes wet dreams for most desi parents when they fanatasize about a future son or daughter in law.....
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